I apologize for my disappearance and the lack of updates on my website this year. It wasn’t hard to see how many of you have been concerned about my disappearance. I was getting emails, texts, phone calls, private messages, and heart felt cards. I so badly wanted to divulge what was going on in my life but it was personal. It’s not anymore, so here we go.
My ex, Tristan, and I were trying to continue and work out our 7 year relationship. It got pretty crazy by the end of it. I was unable to get anything done as we lived together 24/7. It came to an end earlier this week. :'(
Tristan is not only my ex, but he was also working behind the scenes on my site. It was something very personal to him. It was his unique way of showing me… love. He wanted it to be a secret from the start, and I had to respect that. But after our breakup, he went public about who he is.
I know there are lots of mixed feelings in the community right now over what he posted, and the dynamic of my and Tristan’s past relationship and work. So, I’d like to finally do something I always wanted to do and give him full public recognition for all of his hard work.
In tribute to Tristan:
I give Tristan FULL credit for all Giantess FX videos, collages, and ALL public writings regarding FX. All Giantess FX projects were his own personal works, so he handled all aspects of the works himself. I only acted out his scripts whenever they were ready.
I personally started taking interest in FX and collages in 2011, which is when “Quick FX” were born (and pre-masked collage material sets in 2012!). Quick FX were our way of distinguishing the differences in our works. My first Quick FX release is when he started teaching me hands on. I am proud to say that I learned how to do FX from the best FX artist in the community. But I also can’t deny that often times I gave into the temptation to say “Trisssstannn…. please come help meh speed this up!” as he’d accomplish in minutes what would take me hours. Srsly. His FX skills are unquestionable!
If you’re able to talk him into it… we actually filmed an AMAZING FX video last summer in the back yard to be released for FREE! I was head over heels to see him edit and release it this year. I believe the scenario stemmed from his Let’s Have Some Fun! blog. We shot it outside and Markie sent us greenscreen footage of himself acting for the video.
Blog / PR
I give Tristan FULL credit for… every. single. blog. ever. written. What you’re reading now is actually the very first blog I’ve ever written on my own website… I think! (However, I did have oversight to my previous blog posts)
You see, when I met Tristan in 2006 I had an accent and poor English. I grew up as one of those rebellious goth kids who slept in school and lived a party life. That all changed when I learned the hard way that drugs aren’t worth dying for. So I set out to make over my life and took up a two year associate’s course for computers. I became addicted to computers and learning, and I found nerds hot – hot – HOT!
So when Tristan told me that I can’t write my blogs, and that he needed to be my voice due to his 12+ years in “PR” (Public Relations)… I instilled my trust into him. He grew up in a family with two teachers and I admired his talent in English and Writing. In fact, he has the innate ability to talk his way into or out of anything which made me feel safe relationship wise too. You could say he’s a speechcraft master.
Sometimes I was upset about not being able to write on my own site, as it made me feel disconnected from my fans. He controlled all writings but I fully trusted his logic for doing so. And in the process, my English is where it’s at today from reading his writings and accepting his corrections in me when I said something silly. For example, shortly after we got together we were at some grocery store and I remember saying “we already done went down that aisle” just like it was yesterday. He actually stopped, paused, and asked me what I said. It was hilarious! xD
I give Tristan FULL credit for the reprogramming of my initial website. He has laid the foundation of this website, in which I have personally utilized over the years to keep my updates rolling out. Any time an error came up on my website he’d fix it. I also give him full credit for handling all programming aspects and public speakings of the GiantessBooru project. He is actually the one who talked me into purchasing the original site (SizeBooru). It was a site he loved fapping on and wanted to continue for the community. In fact, GiantessBooru is now my go to place when I need a release so I’m very glad we took it on. ^o^ Please, thank him for GiantessBooru. He deserves it.
One year (Looking back, I think it was 2009 / 2010) he devoted his time to reaching out to artists in the community to give them a way to earn a living for themselves through my site. He spent countless hours getting to personally know them, while I focused on customs and store videos to make sure we were making enough to pay bills and such.
There are many other things he did, even just as my loving boyfriend. We loved going to the Halloween store every year to pick out sexy costumes, he did my taxes for me, he painted, and he took a large part in picking out home decor for videos (this one year we spent a grand on a partial house makeover for my store videos). He’s helped me with so much over the years and I’ll never forget it.
As beautiful as all of this sounds, I can’t deny that I’m honing in on Tristan’s positives here in sake of giving him positive public recognition, credit, and good remembrance. This blog post is very special to me and I hope you all enjoy it. Maybe it will shed some light on things, too.
To Tristan: I hope you’re able to follow on with your passions, crafts, and have a successful future. You will always hold a very dear place in my heart for everything you’ve done for me over the years. This breakup is the hardest one I’ve ever had to endure.
The real Katelyn
An update, post March 18 (111 comments later)
To my fans:
I have been keeping up with your responses and I owe you all a HUGE apology and explanation. I am -deeply- sorry for keeping Tristan a secret, and for so long. I’d love a second chance with building your trust, and I’d also love to pinpoint why it was ever kept a secret to begin with.
Sometime in the year 2008 was his one year mark in helping my business. I think it was around this time that in return for me wanting to break up with him, he threatened to sue me over the FX he “made out of love” for me. (My roommate at the time was home as witness) As a result of his threat, I wanted to go public about Tristan having made them for me. However, he -begged- me not to go public about his help, and threatened that it would very well be the “destruction of my business” if I ever told the truth. Despite me wanting everyone to know, I chose to respect his wish not only since he was my boyfriend, but also out of the fear he had instilled into me.
Looking back, I can clearly see that business threats, fear tactics, and manipulation were used on me whenever I’d try to break up. I felt trapped. I’m now kicking myself for making personal and business decisions for -so many years- in result of this fear. I only have myself to blame for falling for it.
As you can imagine, I was quite devastated from his decision to go public after all of these years of intimidating me to keep it private. It initially felt hypocritical of him on a personal level, and he got to play it off like he’s just been letting me “have all of the credit”. As nice and innocent as he tried to play it off to be, it resulted in the disturbance of -many- of my fans and it really fucked with me mentally and emotionally.
You guys already know that law enforcement was involved between us- it was from psychological warfare, threats, and emotional abuse. So when he first went public I was terrified to speak in fear of him twisting anything I said against me. I was so happy to be free from our relationship, but now I had to deal with our past online. I had never experienced being so happy and upset at the same time like that. His posts quickly grew harder for me to withstand what he was saying about me/himself/my business. From what I went through living with him, I could see through his words on GC- they were mixed with manipulation and malicious / deceitful defamation.
The fact is, for the majority of our relationship he directly lived off my business and only helped out about 10 hours per week on average. (Part time at best, and rarely.) This is why FX Movies, blogs, and programming jobs were so few and far in between. But at the same time, when I’d express wanting to hire in help to speed things up, I’d be told that no one else could do as good as a job as he could with programming or FX. It was very discouraging and hampered what I personally wanted to do, and where I wanted to bring my business. I appreciated the help he gave but I wanted to run my business on a professional level by expanding to employees, freelancers, and outsource talent. And after so long, I couldn’t help but feel like he was deceiving me / living off me / keeping me from what I wanted to do. It was very restraining and I was not happy in our relationship.
For me, I worked over time ~80 hours every week (also stated in “City of the Mind”, for which now you know the real cause of my depression last year) out of sheer love for what I do and also as an outlet. I organized all of my shoot sets and shoot sheets, worked on customs, filmed myself (he never wanted to help me film or take photos unless it was an FX project of his), I edited all of my videos, wrote every description, utilized the sofwares of my site to get my pictures and videos up, handled third party clip sites, and much more- all which covered both of our living expenses. I also did the cooking, cleaning, handled finances, handled model shoots from start to finish, took care of emails (there are 12,031 emails in my sent folder!), and much more.
And while he did write the text on most pages of my website, those pages were rarely ever updated. Most of his previous blogs were unfollowed FX advertisements/plans which became very upsetting to me over the years. I always wanted to write my own blogs but I was discouraged by him- I’d be told that I have a 5th grader’s level of English and that we could only use his writing style. This was so emotionally destructive that I became terrified of ever going near writing my own blogs, until I finally recognized what was going on and stood up for myself.
Obviously, this is only a sliver of what happened between T and I, and I’ve tried to keep it within the confines of shedding more light and actuality on what you guys have already read online.
Even though our relationship was quite unpleasant, there’s a little part inside of me that still loves him for what good memories we had. When we broke up I tried to work out a temporary job for him, and told him I’d give him everything I could (what I don’t use for filming / my business’s survival) from the house for a place of his own. However, it just backlashed on me. He would not accept work for pay, he would not let me help, and told me he wanted to go work for other producers / become a competitor. After all of the stuff that went down between us personally, business wise, and publically, I really don’t know how much I should care anymore… but now he’s telling me that he’s getting a lawyer?! (When does it end?!)
Well, when he told me he was getting a lawyer (and suggested for me to get one too) it was in less than 24 hours of him publicly announcing that he was closing down his “Mile High Studios” fundraiser. I can’t help but wonder if he took it down since I made it clear that I didn’t want to be the face of his fundraiser… for obvious reasons listed, and unlisted. So now it would seem that he might be after me for money and assets instead of the community / making it himself. =[ Kicking myself.
I feel like I’m playing a game of chess against a Cardassian.
If he finds a way to disrupt my business then it would cripple me, artists, and the future of this website. That includes taking half of my “home studio”, which would severely havoc the health and stability of my business. I’m really not sure how it’d go, but to any of you familiar with the legalities of things, I’d love your opinion. My business is filed as Sole Proprieter, all content is copyrighted to my legal business name, we have no shared accounts, I have all receipts to my belongings, my car is under my name, I rent, I’m in debt (car, student loan, some business purchases/investments), and no contracts were ever signed. As far as WA Property Law for Unmarried Couples, we definitely don’t align with some of the considerations and I also have a case # at the local sherifs office from the domestic issues, and I have a signed paper from him that he’s been psychologically abusive. I also have many documents of proof that he worked for me “out of love” and I’m not sure you can sue someone for gifts you made/gave them?
To end, I’d like to thank you all for reading, and thank you all for the emotional support you’ve been sending my way on my blog and in emails. It means the world to me that you’d stand by me during this especially tough and taxing time in my life. To those of you wondering if I have the fetish or not, I ~do~! P: (T’s even made it apparent in some of his GC posts) And I look forward to the day we’re all laughing back on this in the future (I hope!) and focusing on hot sexy stuff instead!
A giantess sized kiss to you all,
-The Real Katelyn